3 Tips For Dating In January

How to Find the Motivation to Date in the Colder Months of the Year

📷: @stevie_jadee

Come the middle of January, a wintery fog descends upon our dating lives. The fallen leaves of fall burrow into the ground, burying our motivation with them. The grey skies and early sunsets only encourage our hibernating tendencies, leaving potential dates out to soak in the freezing rain. Along with the subpar weather and the fact we didn’t make cuff season back in October, finding reasons to date to get as misty as the world.

Without vitamin D to boost our mood, our attitude towards the act of dating loses its luster. We question whether the cold trek to a date is worth it. Thoughts spiral into a negative pool of “what’s the point” and we stay in our burrow of emotions for the next two months. As cozy as it sounds, cuddling up to this disappointing mindset may create an unnecessary disdain for dating.

Looking at dating as another mundane task of life will never produce the results we’re looking for, especially in January. Closing ourselves off from the act, mentally and physically, keeps us closed off from the good energy trying to find us. Switching our mindset to see dating as a natural way of a new connection, even during the colder months, may give us a burst of Sunny D Sure, dating does slowdown in January. It’s expected. But instead of approaching dating apps or strangers at bars like a box that must be checked, see them as possibilities to socialize with no expectations of an outcome. 

And we don’t have to go on a date in January to keep this energy available.

If your mind and body are aching for a dating break, you’re entitled and should take one. But make it an intention. If you’re not dating because you can’t be bothered and feel bummed you haven’t had a date for a week, you have the power to change that. January is the perfect month to practice fluid dating—not seeking a date but staying open to the chance of meeting someone. Put feelers out on dating apps, or even veto apps altogether and focus on connecting with people IRL, through friend activities or events.

Make the intention to go out with your friends and enjoy the life YOU created. Dating has a natural way of merging with our lives without force. When you feel good, those meant for you will be attracted to your energy. Sometimes dating with intention is necessary but, in the coming months, when our self-motivation is hard to muster, dating with more fluidity keeps the spark alive inside us. Remaining open for dates gives oxygen to the flame. 

If you’re still interested in dating in January, but feeling unmotivated or disappointed with the selection, we’ve pulled three tips to defrost those positive dating vibes…

1.     Remove the pressure of HAVING to date by staying present in the plans you already have. By keeping our energy on a positive moment, we create room for matching energy to find us without forcing it. We are already out enjoying life, maybe our next date is doing the same in the same bar…

2.     Take a break from dating apps. January can be a time to reset your dating preferences, but it doesn’t mean you MUST hit pause on dating. Keep your eyes open for IRL connections and see who’s available in your neighboring friend groups.

3.     Don’t force dates that don’t feel good. Our energy is sacred, particularly in the darker months when light is harder to find. If someone or a situation isn’t aligning with our current mood, shelf it or pass on it. Dating is a positive fluid motion. Let it ebb and flow with the seasonal vibes.

Looking for more dating tips? Tap here!