How to Plan an Adult Playdate for Your Next Date

Fun Activity Ideas to Do on a Date and Different Ways to Build Connection

Ever wonder what to do with your hands on a date? Well, maybe it’s not you; it’s just that you need an activity. Dates are going beyond the standard grab-a-drink format. People are experimenting with sober dating, opting for coffee shops or park walks. Others are finding ways to connect with their dates with something a little more physical. 

And no, I don’t mean the S word! I’m talking about some healthy competition, or as I like to call it, partner play. Hey! Get your mind out of the gutter, though it is a little cheeky.

Daters opting for activity-based dates are on to something! Dates that include something to do with your hands can foster different levels of connection and compatibility that sitting at a bar or table simply cannot. Not only is it soothing for the anxious leaning daters, but you get to experience different scenarios with this new person you’re getting to know. 

No matter what you want to call it- activity date, partner play, or adult playdates, I encourage these types of dates at least after date one. Not that you can’t choose an activity for the first date, but it might make it harder to ask those initial first-date questions. You know, the ones that help us see if we even want a similar relationship and have aligned goals. When it comes to date one, a coffee or drink date or a short park walk should suffice for getting to know someone. Low stakes and low effort first-date plans are key! 

Now, you’ve made it to date two or three. What a win! And you want to do something different for longer than an hour and a half. Well, it’s adult playdate activity choosing time. 

There are different types of date activities to choose from, but important factors to consider are either choosing something ideally familiar to both of you or going for something completely new for you two to try together. You want to be on the same page as you co-create an activity date. 

When deciding what playful date to suggest, there are a few things to consider: the type of environment and the type of connection it will foster. Because partner playing on a date comes with a lot of relationship-building benefits. Despite the date number, you can create a space to connect on a variety of levels.

First up... healthy competition!

Healthy competition can help you see how they handle pressure, as well as how well you both navigate opposition in a light-hearted situation. Feeling out how they do with some opposition because, let’s be real, relationships aren’t perfect. You’re not always going to align, and some people can be a little more competitive (hopefully in a healthy way!) See how they handle the competition.

Date Ideas: Pickle ball, mini golf, bowling, barcades, bowling, billiards, or picnic with bocce 

When you’re playing on the same team, however, a paired sport or creative activity can bring you together as you work towards the same goal. Communicating and understanding how each other works to win the game or complete the task is a big boost for your new relationship. Psst… some of these can even be at home!

Date Ideas: All the options above, but playing on the same team against others/ teaching each other how to play, gardening/ planting, making dinner together (at a lesson or home), or drinkology class

One of my favorite types of partner play is individual activities in a shared space. These are dates where you are both working on your personal projects while sharing the same experiences. This allows for comfort in quiet moments and encouragement and support for the other person. 

Date Ideas: Painting, art cafes (where you can choose different creative outlets to work on), pottery, gardening, matchbox making

Now, if you’re single and looking to meet someone IRL in these types of environments, many new activity-based events are popping up in various cities. Start by googling the activities/ hobbies you are interested in and add the “near me” we love so much. They don’t have to be specifically for dating. Go in with an attitude of expanding your community, whether romantic or platonic.

Dating can start to feel dull and static, but it doesn’t have to be. If we decide to incorporate the things we love to do into dating, we get to not only show our date a different side of us, but we can learn how to connect with them in different ways. 

Now, go find something to do with your hands!