How to Let Them Down Easy and Not Become a Ghost
It's difficult to turn someone down after a first date. With online dating, neither party really knows how well the match will work. The text you exchanged before validated both of your abilities to converse, but taking the match face to face is always the true testament to your compatibility sans the algorithm.
First dates can be many things. A great chat or a slow, sometimes brutal, conversation. A seamless weave and flow, but neither passes Go. A kind drinking partner who never jumps over the friendship line. A dreaded goodbye, while you try to think of ways to avoid the first kiss.
When both respectable parties understand the flame has lost its heat, going your separate ways is easier. But when you’re the only one feeling the cold, it can be harder to wave the white flag alone.
All your personal indications of emotional and physical attraction never made their appearance. The soft touch of an arm, the subtle kiss of the knees under the table, or the cheeky look at their lips as they talk. Your show of attraction sat at an opposing table.
It’s hard to decipher how you really feel about someone after only one date. Sometimes a second date is important to solidify your feelings towards this person… this stranger. But then other times, you just know.
And that’s what we are here for. To help you send that dreaded rejection text that keeps the nasty ghosts away.
Being the one who couldn’t find a romantic connection is frustrating, so we’ve pulled together five of our favorite go-to rejection texts to let them down easily.
For when you’ve already discussed a second date…
I had a great time getting to know you last week, but I don't think we should move forward with dinner. You were lovely, but after taking some time to think, I don’t feel I connected romantically.
For when you’re just not feeling it…
Thank you again for the drinks last night. I loved chatting, but unfortunately I didn’t feel a romantic connection. Wishing you the best!.
When you don’t know what you want…
Last night was fun, but I think we should hold off on future dates. I am not sure what I am looking for dating-wise right now, and I don’t want to lead you on. You were great, and I wish you only the best!
For when you want to be friends…
Loved chatting with you yesterday! I had such an awesome time! If I’m honest, I didn’t feel a romantic connection between us. I'd love to stay friends if you’re up for it. No pressure if that’s not what you’re looking for.
To rip the band-aid off…
Thank you for dinner! I had a lovely time, but I don’t think we should continue on another date. Best of luck!
Sending a rejection text can be incredibly daunting. Try getting together with your friends for emotional support, but be sure you write the text in your own words. Go to friends who show support, but don’t try to sway your opinion or decision. If you can’t be with them in person, have them FaceTime you as you send the texts. Hearing positive affirmations that you’ve made the right decision is encouraging.
Letting them down easy is always better than ghosting.
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“I realized that it's not only OK to be proactive and express my feelings, but that I can and should be selective and make intentional decisions about whom I want to see and date. My conversations with Stevie gave me greater confidence and made me reflect on my broader life goals, too.” - T 32. Woman
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