Dating is Expensive. How to Date Confidently on a Budget

Oct 6

Why Expensive Doesn't Mean Better Connection (And How Gen Z and Young Millennials Are Dating Smarter)

A cream tote with NYC graphics on it and red flower falling out the side. The tote is being held up up on a ferry with the NYC skylien behind it.

Dating is a business. It always has been, but it’s become more of a trending industry than ever before. It’s neither good nor bad. And who am I to say sitting here writing this as a date coach. I am a part of that business.

The positives that come of this thriving industry are the new resources and tools, such as coaching, matchmaking, dating apps, and single events. There are an ample number of ways to meet people and build your social muscle.

The catch? It can begin to get pricey. And in this economy? Daters are beginning to become more mindful about where and how they spend their money.

Before dating became the business it is today, there was already conversation about the cost of a date. According to the BMO Real Financial Progress Index, the cost of a date is up 12.5% from 2025, making the average cost of a date in 2026 $189. Before we jump to conclusions, this cost includes pre-date grooming and gas /transportation costs. Not that it completely softens the blow…

It's safe to say, dating is expensive. And because of its rising cost, Millennials and Gen Z are deciding to deprioritize it altogether. 11% of Gen Z and Millennials, according to the Zelle New Economic Report, to be exact. That’s about 16 million people.

This doesn’t help our loneliness pandemic and inability to socialize in this ever-expanding technical world. But can we blame them? In the same report, Zelle found 84% of Gen Z and Millennial daters say the rising costs are affecting their dating lives. 32% have gone on fewer dates and 34% claim spending too much on a date causes anxiety.

That’s a lot of daters concerned about dating finances, and we haven’t even spoken about splitting the bill. But that’s for another column…

Pairing the rising cost of a date with the increasing cost of tools, it’s no shock that dating has become overwhelming. There’s simply too much choice and too much cost. So, what do we do about it?

To start, choosing the right dating tools to use to find a date is important to your budget. Not every tool is meant for everyone. You must find what works for you mentally, physically, and financially.

Matchmaking can be costly, but the right investment if you don’t have the time to swipe, go to events, or put effort into meeting people IRL. And of course, you need the financial ability to invest over a couple grand. You’re paying for saved time.

Date coaching is an investment in yourself. If you’re feeling burned out, stuck in a dating pattern, or need support in building your communication skills and confidence, it could be the tool for you. While typically less costly than a matchmaker, coaching is still considered an investment. It’s a matter of knowing you’re stuck and wanting to change how you show up in dating.

Now on to dating apps, while most are free to use, it seems that more features are behind paywalls these days. Simply put, as a dating coach, I don’t believe in paying for a dating app unless it’s a matchmaking dating app. It’s a tool that can be used for free.

Plus, if you are interested in paying for an app, I invite you to pause and consider IRL events before hitting the paywall button. Which, yes, I know, can also be costly, but there are a variety of free and low-cost events. To find them, identify the things you enjoy, Google them + “events near me”, and find the ones that are meant for you. Remember the value of an event isn’t just meeting a potential date; it’s learning something new, doing something you enjoy, and practicing that social muscle.

Okay, we’ve gone through our tool varieties, but what about that $189 price tag on the date we hopefully get after using these tools?

Well, thankfully, 40% of Gen Z and Millennials are already choosing less expensive activities for a date, while 37% are suggesting free activities for a first date, says Zelle. I’m going to say what you may already be thinking… what about the people who want to be wine and dined?

Lifestyle alignment is important in finding your match. If you’re okay with a lower-cost first date and the other person is not, you may already know everything you need to know. Not to say one is right and one is wrong. It just means that these two people may not be a match. And that’s okay!

The whole point of dating is finding the ones that align with us and saying no to the ones who aren’t. You can’t get to the yes without the nos.

The purpose of a first date is to see if both people are interested in the other and if there is good conversation flow. In other words, a vibe match. A coffee date, a walk in the park, a free-admission museum, galleries, or ice cream can bring the cost down and help you gauge compatibility.

If you still want a drink on the date, keep the date to a one-drink minimum or suggest a more casual bar. To keep the momentum going, grab one drink, then move to a lower-cost place, like ice cream or a walk.

As the connection grows and you go on more dates, you can plan higher-cost dates, such as dinners, shows, or experiences. But if money is still a concern, low-cost day trips like hikes or ferry rides to another part of the city can help keep the price down.

Remember, money spent doesn’t equal the amount of connection found. Being rich doesn’t make you eligible for a relationship; being communicative, responsible, and mindful shows you’re ready for one.

We just have to be willing to get creative, talk about the hard stuff (money), and remember that what we bring to the table is worth more than what we spend on the table.