4 Ways to Respond to Nosy Dating Questions When You’re Single During the Holidays
We don’t need it to be the holidays to be questioned about our singlehood. There are plenty of “you’ll meet them when you least expect it” to go round all year. But there’s something about the holiday season that highlights our singleness and heightens everyone’s interest in our business.
We can be content in being single, despite society’s expectation that we should be struggling, and still get unwarranted dating advice that makes even the most confident single feel lesser than.
Sure, these questions, tips, and “encouraging words” may come from a good place, but their delivery always feels sour. The dating landscape is forever changing. From dating apps to the economy, and the battle of the sexes, dating has different challenges than it did when our parents, aunts, and even married friends were in the scene.
Empathy is lacking, while sympathy is just not what we’re looking for at the moment. It’s exhausting getting questioned for updates or told we’re too picky. It’s a test of willpower and all the tools we’ve learned in therapy. Pause, breathe, and write about the audacity of our family in our journal later.
But in the moment, it can be helpful to have some responses to the single/dating comments to either sass your way to another conversation, change the subject, or share how you’re doing just fine. Despite Grandma’s concern for your body clock…
Try these 4 responses at your next holiday party or summer soiree because we know these comments are coming all year.
“You’re too picky. You need to give more people a chance.”
Response: I have standards, not high expectations. I’m confident I’ll find the right person for me.
“You’ll meet them when you least expect it.”
Response: I’m not in a rush. I’m enjoying dating and meeting new people right now.
“How’s dating going? Have you met someone yet?”
Response: I’m dating. That’s all you need to know.
“You’re so independent. People are probably intimidated.”
Response: I’m building my dream life, and I know what I want. The right person will be supportive of that and build that dream with me. Have you heard about my new promotion at work?
If they don’t get the message…
Response: Please excuse me, I’m going to get more (insert your favorite holiday food here.)
Or… I don’t want to discuss dating right now. I want to focus on being with friends/family tonight. Tell me about (insert something about them.)
If it gets too much…
Excuse yourself to the bathroom. Take a moment for yourself to reset. Pause, breath, and remember three things your proud of right now. Bonus points if you say some positive affirmations in the mirror.
Remember who you are and that your timeline is YOURS.
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