Why Going to a Concert Alone is the Best Solo Date

Aug 10

How to Get Comfortable Doing Things Alone, Single or Not

woman in an elevator taking a mirror selfie witha blue phone while looking up at the ceiling

I’m 30 and just went to my first concert alone. It wasn’t my first choice. I asked my friends and partner first, but alas, everyone was busy. The thing is, solo dating isn’t new for me. I’m an avid solo dater. Yet, I’ve never been to a concert alone.

It’s always been on the To Try list, but an opportunity to go solo hasn’t come up until now. Of course, you don’t need your friends saying no to prompt you to go alone. But for me, I needed that push.

Solo dating is an ongoing growth challenge. We are taught that it’s something to be ashamed of. But that couldn’t be more from the truth. Solo dating is crucial for our individual development. We create our own opinions, perspectives, and ideas by experiencing the world by ourselves. It doesn’t need to be a grand gesture of solo travel, though it can be if that’s your interest.

Solo dating can simply mean sitting alone at a coffee shop, walking in your neighborhood park, or going to a museum. It’s recommended to start solo dating this way. We need to rewire our brains to know it’s safe to be alone in an experience. Collect data that doing things solo is okay and beneficial.

When we solo date, we are more inclined to talk to new people. Your social attention isn’t taken by the person you’re with. If you’re single or looking for new friends, you have more opportunity to connect.

Solo dating helps us become more confident in ourselves and in our decision-making. When we successfully do something alone, it’s a reminder that we are capable of independence and choosing to do something simply because we want to. A decision that is not dependent on someone else’s approval.

This is especially important if you are single. Solo dates help us fill up our cup outside of dating and remind us that life is not all about romantic relationships. It helps us build our self-confidence. The one thing that is so crucial to our dating experience. When we are confident in ourselves, we show up more authentically, stay true to our needs, and can express our feelings knowing we will be okay if a new relationship doesn’t work out.

Solo dates help us fall in love with our life. They let us live without approval. These experiences remain important even when we get into relationships. Our time to do solo things lessens, and it becomes more of an intentional choice… if that’s even possible. Solo dating always takes intentionality despite your relationship status but can be one of the things that slowly gets deprioritized in the excitement of love.

It's not a bad thing. Our life priorities come in waves, rightfully so. There’s a time when things shift focus, but there is also a time when we must bring forward with us the things that keep us confident and authentic. And for me, that is solo dating.

I took going to a concert alone as my next solo dating challenge. Something I haven’t done in a while. I am comfortable sitting at a coffee shop, exploring a museum, and even going to a restaurant alone. Challenges I overcame when I was single. But it was time to take it a step further.

I was nervous and excited. As a woman, there is a safety concern when you are in large crowds alone. To soothe my anxious thoughts, I made sure my partner knew when I had arrived and left. And I chose a concert that felt safe with girlies and gays… Hilary Duff

To ease myself into the night, I got my haircut and took myself to dinner before the concert. It was a nice reminder that I could still eat at a restaurant alone and do things solo. I got comfortable with my own company again.

When I arrived at the concert, I thought seeing all the friend groups would make me feel sad and isolated. But instead, I saw just how many other people were walking around alone. Whether they were solo or not, I simply felt like another fish in the sea. Going alone to a concert wasn’t like eating at a restaurant or sitting at a bar. At the concert, we all had a common denominator. We were all there for the same experience. We were connected.

Going to a concert alone may just be the best solo date idea. You’re not being looked at or questioned. You blend in with the other fans because you are a fan too. Most of the time, you have assigned seating, a rightful place to be. You can choose to talk to your neighbor or not. You don’t have to worry about looking occupied because you are by watching the opener or headliner. Then, you leave when everyone else leaves.

Solo dating at a concert gives us freedom, but structure. On the surface, it feels daunting being alone in a large crowd, but its shortcoming is the thing that makes being solo easier. Of course, there is a level of solo comfort needed. If that is you, start with a trip to a museum or walk around the park. But don’t think you need to go to a solo dinner before a concert. Dare I say, a concert should come first...

As a dating coach, I help my clients find ways to solo date. And as a dating coach, I need to continue to practice what I preach, even if I’m not single. Continuing to build confidence is universal, not tied only to singlehood. And that’s what going to a concert alone helped me do.

For those who are in a relationship or those getting into a relationship, don’t forget to continue to challenge yourself. Solo dating doesn’t end when romantic dating does. Even in a relationship, you are an individual experiencing life for the first time.