How Do I Stop Dating Zombies and Avoid Another Situationship?

What to Do When Your Ex or Ex-Situationship Reaches Back Out

The zombie apocalypse ends here. We don’t need any reinforcements. There’s no secret weapon for getting them to un-zombify and commit to us. The zombie is a zombie. Unable to meet our needs and only seeking attention from someone who will keep them warm for the night.

It’s time to zombie-proof ourselves.

But first, we should clarify what zombieing is. 

A zombie is a person who stops all communication with you, then reaches back out after a certain period. They are essentially someone who is not willing to commit, fulfilling a roster, or emotionally not ready for the relationship you’re looking for. They don’t align with you, but they want your attention. 

This is a slippery slope for the infamous situationships. If we allow the zombie back into our lives, there is an underlying resentment about the fact that they ghosted us. First instinct is to not say anything at all. The second is to practice communication, asking them why they didn’t reach out for two weeks. The latter usually leads to a debate on who should have reached out first because, in their eyes, you also stayed silent. 

But as much as communication is important, zombies typically don’t return to hash out the logistics. They are there for the warmth without the commitment. If you’re looking for a commitment relationship is the opposite of your goals. 

Thus, you’re stuck in a loop. Feelings have developed, and you’re hoping you can un-zombify him. But the hard truth is you can’t. Not because you aren’t great, but because you’re looking for something they can’t give you. They’re not for you, and you know it. 

Now, how do we stop ourselves from continuing to fall for zombies?

It begins and ends with you. When time goes by without contact (the start of the ghosting), that is your time to decide if they are right for you. Ask yourself…

Is this someone I would like to build a life with?

Is this someone I would be proud to meet my family and friends?

Are they meeting my needs and respecting me up to this point?

And the biggest kicker… 

Do I deserve someone who doesn’t continue to show active interest in me?

Then, based on your answers, decide on your next action forward. And make it within the first week of no contact. 

You are the center of your dating life. If they are not aligning with you, move on. And stay steadfast in your decision. When they inevitably reach out, you have already decided to move on. Ask them to respect your wishes not to reach out any further. 

This is advocating for the life you deserve. 

There’s no need for a fight or a blaming game. Protect your peace and the relationship you’re looking for. 

Now, if you answer yes to the first three questions, then stand up for what you feel. Reach out to them and ask if they would like to see you again. If they are wishy-washy with making plans, then you have your answer. 

Always make your decisions based on what makes you feel good, empowered, and aligned with what you’re looking for. You know how you deserve to be treated, and you’re the only one who can stand up for it. 

Don’t get caught in another zombie apocalypse. Who has the time anymore?

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