I’m trying to Masterdate. Why You Should Start Solo Dating Now!

Where to Start Solo Dating and Why It’s Important to Solo Date Before a Relationship

The truth is, we don’t have to be single to start solo dating. But it’s an amazing time to start. It’s anxiety-inducing, adrenaline-pumping, and undeniably freeing. That’s what makes it so hard to take the first step to doing things alone.

And I don’t mean having me time at home. Though those can technically be solo dates, being in a socially engaging environment is where we activate a muscle that’s hard to train. I’m talking about the Lats of our social muscles. The ability to enjoy a social activity alone. Activating this social muscle has incredible benefits. Ones that stay with us even when we inevitably get into a relationship. They are anchors to who we are as individuals.

We get to understand what interests us without the opinion of others. We can explore our likes, dislikes, and our neutrals. The world opens as a solo observer. There’s an opportunity to interact with those around us (without headphones!) and see the small moments we would naturally miss while engaging with the person we’re there with. 

Not to say partner and group activities aren’t important. They are just as solo dates are. They exist simultaneously. It’s just solo activities that don’t get the love we show to group activities. But that’s why it’s so important to incorporate them into our life routine. And all their exploratory benefits are why we need to start solo dating when we are single. 

Before we introduce another into our special interests and hobbies, we need to make a relationship with those things first. When we get into a relationship, we compromise time and must reduce the time we spend solo dating. This may sound funny to someone who hasn’t started their solo dating journey yet, but it will all make sense when you find your solo routine. 

It’s important to share these with our future partners, but we also should continue to celebrate our interests solo. When our partners are out of town, busy, or we just need a solo moment, we can dive back into the parts of individuality and celebrate solo us. 

Now, if you’re still not convinced to start. Solo dating, or as some call it, masterdating, can bring about opportunities to meet people if we are single. Whether it’s other single friends or another single on a solo date, being alone (not lonely) in the world can introduce us to new people, on the street, in a park, at a restaurant, museum, or bar. The trick is that we must be open to meeting new people. 

It's not just saying you are, but actively challenging yourself to engage with others while masterdating. It doesn’t have to be a conversation right away. The place to start is a smile, a nod, or wishing someone a good morning or afternoon. 

It’s going to be scary and challenging… that’s the point. Anything worth doing is a challenge. We have to get out of our comfort zone to grow. It’s cheesy, I know. But we don’t have to start with a big masterdating gesture. Start small. 

Begin with a coffee alone at your favorite coffee shop.

Make a promise to yourself to stay for 15 minutes. The kicker is… don’t pull out your phone. Bring a book, a journal, or simply people-watch. Grab a snack to keep your hands occupied and just be. When the 15 minutes are up, you can leave, but you might feel an urge to stay. Listen to it. 

Next, go to a museum alone.

This is a very commonplace to masterdate. Some may argue that you see the art clearly solo. You can take your time to analyze, think, and make your way through each piece. There’s no wondering what to do or see. You are literally there to have your senses preoccupied by the art. 

Now, go on a lunch solo date.

If it’s nice, pick somewhere outside. There’s a plethora to look at on the street. The lunch can be short. No longer than 45 minutes to an hour. Your hands are busy feeding yourself, and you get to interact with the servers. It’s empowering to ask for a table for one. 

Okay, you’ve done the lot. Now it’s time for a drink at the bar.

Yes, go to your local pub and grab a spot at the bar. It may seem less intense than a lunch, but honestly, being at a bar solo feels more personal. It’s typically a group social place, but that doesn’t mean we can’t be solo there. You’ll probably notice more solo people there when you’re also one.  

Take the masterdating step by step. Don’t sike yourself out by skipping straight to the bar. And it doesn’t have to be the activities I suggested. The best way to find what you love is to explore the activities you love the most. Use yourself as the anchor.