The One Thing People Forget to Do at IRL Dating Events
Why Showing Up Isn't Enough: How to Engage and Connect at Singles Mixers
We are in the age of IRL dating events. Single socials, speed dating nights, run clubs, touchy-feely workshops, single creative nights, and that’s not even half of them. You can find dating events that are culture-focused, emotionally specific, or ones for those who love dogs. The end is certainly nowhere in sight.
It’s just the beginning.
IRL dating events are becoming a crucial part of our IRL dating strategy or just our dating plan in general. Whether we are using dating apps or going OG IRL style, attending events is another way to expand our reach and meet new people. They are simply another tool for us to utilize and should.
However, attending dating events can be a little nerve-racking. We are putting ourselves there and being, sometimes, in unusually different scenarios. It’s not every day we are surrounded by singles all trying to hit a pickleball or chatting to 20 other people in 6-minute increments. But each experience is building our social confidence and allowing us to meet people we wouldn’t have in our everyday lives.
Hoorah for new connections!
However, we didn’t get to the event without our challenges. For the extroverted, the introverted, and those in between, finding the right dating event can be difficult. And then actually purchasing a ticket?! Forget about it! Except that we're not, because we’re growing and purchasing the ticket anyway.
It’s an obstacle we have gallantly triumphed over. We have booked a spot at the event. We are dating IRL.
Except… only partially.
There’s one small detail that daters tend to forget about when they start to date IRL, and that is talking to someone once you get there. And I’m not just referring to anyone. Someone of the sex you are interested in! Bonus points if they are a completely new person.
Because that is when we start connecting and fully dating IRL. Not at the ticket purchase, but at the first new hello.
It’s daunting, yes. A little scary, for sure. And rejection is always possible. But that is how we make the dating events worthwhile and well, work.
We’re investing our money into these events, into a dating tool. The ROI is dependent on our participation. Simply attending is leaving it up to chance. By choosing to talk to people and engage, we are taking control of our dating lives. We’re taking action to open more opportunities to meet someone great.
With IRL dating, not everyone you meet is going to be someone you date. They may not be someone you ever talk to again after 5 minutes of chatting, but that’s a part of connecting. It’s a part of being human.
Unlike the fellow technology-driven dating tools (dating apps), we don’t get instant gratification and validation. It’s a slow dating game. One that requires time, effort, and patience. And don’t forget practice.
At each dating event you attend, challenge yourself to talk to two new people. If you find someone interesting, challenge yourself to give out your number at least once!
It’s all in practice! The more we connect with people, the more confident we become with our entrance and delivery. Meeting someone new is bound to be a little awkward sometimes. Give yourself grace through the pauses and the names that were forgotten. Stay kind and respectful. And know each hello is a step in the right direction.
Plus, if you need to leave a conversation, there’s nothing wrong with saying it was lovely chatting with them and excusing yourself to the bathroom for a reset.
It’s all a part of the process. We just need to say hello first.
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