Is “Cringe Mode” the Solution to the Fear of Dating Rejection?

Embracing Cringe, Building Rejection Resilience, and Gen Z Daters According to Hinge

📷: @stevie_jadee

Is it cringe to still use the word cringe? Possibly, but apparently, that’s the point. Cringe is the feeling you get in the pit of your stomach when you do or see something awkward. An Old English word that’s found Internet stardom as Gen Z reacts to embarrassing moments in pop culture and the cheesiness of life. Of course, it didn’t take long for the word to find its way into the dating scene. There’s nothing more cringeworthy than the act of dating and falling in love. It’s a series of awkward events showing our weird side and expressing our feelings. According to Hinge Labs’ recent study, this is giving Gen Z a serious case of cringe.

But there’s no point in singly out one generation when the love cringe is felt across multiple. The main culprits of the dating cringe pandemic are lack of direct communication and fear of rejection. Blame it on the internet or the aftershocks of the pandemic, but daters are struggling to reconnect with what it means to feel love, or in most cases, find love and keep it. 

In the same study, Hinge found that Gen Z is 47% more likely than Millennials to say that the pandemic made them more nervous to talk to people. Validating the disappointing statistic that 56% of Gen Z Hinge users’ fear of rejection has caused them to miss out on a relationship. A fear compounded by the hesitation of coming across as cringy by expressing one’s feelings and potentially scaring off the connection. 

Are you reading this as a non-Gen-Zer and wondering where you fit in with the cringe? It seems the fear of rejection isn’t one generational. Hinge Labs found that 95% of all their users fear it. Dating rejection is real and inevitable. The question is how do we overcome such a rooted cross-generational fear? 

It’s embracing the one thing daters are afraid of… cringe. 

Welcome to cringe mode. Where we practice direct communication, expressing our feelings, knowing our needs, and stepping out of our comfort zone. All contributing to our generation’s newfound resilience to rejection. It’s a muscle we can build with practice and patience, but sometimes it requires us to take a chance. In cringe mode, the way to learn is to do. After a time of self-reflection, of course. 

We must start with knowing what relationship we want. This means being honest with ourselves, turning off social media, and sitting with the future we desire. Our first opportunity to cringe. It seems we’ve forgotten that relationships are cringe and so is love. That’s what makes it real. The one thing we’re looking for, well 90% of Gen Z Hinge users are looking for anyway. So, let’s get real, genuine, authentic, whatever word speaks more to your soul. 

The first step to embracing cringe mode is putting yourself out there and being clear about your intentions.

Yes, this means making the first move on the cutie at the party. Here’s where we build rejection resilience in real-time. Get out of your comfort zone and introduce yourself to someone who catches your eye. Like meeting any stranger or a friend of a friend, it’s making a connection no matter how deep it’s destined to get. Oops, are they not interested or already taken? You’ve just grown your rejection resilience muscle. How are you? Still breathing. See the cringe didn’t kill you. It boosted your confidence. 

Swiping on a dating app? Stop what you’re doing and change your dating intentions on your profile to reflect your genuine relationship desires. Scared of looking cringy because you want a long-term relationship? These people don’t know you beyond the few images and perfectly crafted prompt questions. Do their opinions matter? Only the ones that see your intentions and think it’s hot that you’re not afraid of saying what you want. 

Keep cringe mode on during your dates. 

Okay, this is where we fake it ‘til we make it. We’re stepping out behind the screens and embracing cringe face-to-face. In the first few dates, we want to make sure our dating intentions match our dates. This means being brave and sharing what we’re looking for. It helps us avoid situationships, but it also helps us honor ourselves. Use their dating profile as a reference to bring up the conversation. Met IRL? Ask them what they are looking for first. 

Redefine your relationship with cringe.

Cringe isn’t going anywhere, so we might as well make peace with it. Maybe even cherish it as we get further into our relationships? Our battle with rejection doesn’t end when we find the relationship we’re looking for or even that coveted thing called love. We’ll continue to be challenged to share our feelings as our relationship with someone progresses. Each dating and relationship stage requires us to step out of our comfort zone and be honest with our partners. 

When you’re in a relationship with a partner that makes you feel safe to express yourself, the cringe becomes your secret language. Your cringy parts become cute and so do theirs. The intimates’ moments of expressing your feelings become celebrated cringe. It’s a series of beautiful, cringeworthy events. Because at the end of the day, we’re all looking for a little cringe. So, start now. Step out of your comfort zone, reject the fear of rejection, and embrace cringe mode. 

Cringe is hot. 

Need Date Support? Book a Date Support Call or work with Stevie 1:1 to become the advocate for your needs and the dating life you deserve!